Mallory Ortberg – Normal Stages In Child Development:
6 months-1 year
- All clocks stop when child enters a room
- Speaks backwards
- Moon allergy
- Heart often vanishes
- Hair takes on shape of Witch’s Ladder
- Can’t touch iron
- Everything hurts
- Demonstrates independence by starting quarrels with the Cunning Folk
- Appearance of Vengeance Limbs
(It’s like she knows us.)