Roxane Gay, writing in the New York Times about “civility” in discourse (via Kottke; paywalled, but there’s a gift link in his post):
“Calling for civility is about exerting power. It is a way of reminding the powerless that they exist at the will of those in power and should act accordingly. It is a demand for control.”
The context of the essay is the degenerating political environment in the US, but it applies elsewhere as well. In workplaces, it’s not uncommon to see management call for “civility” when they introduce policies that make staff justifiably angry.