We’re just back from a weekend away in St. Andrews. We were staying at Rufflets (very nice), courtesy of my parents and Scott & Angela, who gave us a voucher for dinner, bed & breakfast there for our Christmas.
When I got up this morning, I found that I’d left my shampoo at home. (Alex had decided to unroll all our toilet paper and flush it down the loo while I was packing.) Helpfully, though, the hotel had provided a small bottle of Gilchrist & Soames “Spa Therapy” Sea Lettuce-flavoured shampoo.
It struck me that hotels all over the world are quite happy to provide you with soap and shampoo. The better ones will lavish you with tiny containers of balms, lotions and other sweet-smelling potions. If you’re really lucky, they might even throw in a shower cap. But what’s missing from this line-up of toiletries? Toothpaste.
So if I happen to forget my sponge bag while I’m travelling, I’ll never have to fear body odour. My hair will smell of tropical fruit and my armpits will be scented with wild flowers. That’s nice. But my day-old travel breath will still be lethal at up to twelve paces.
Why are hotel guests not welcomed with little samples of exotic toothpastes above their bathroom sinks? Is there no-one that will supply tiny tubes of “mint and mango” toothpaste? “Strawberry Spearmint?” “Oriental Lily Fresh?” Or how about aromatherapy toothpastes? Not only would they refresh your mouth, but they would have the power to relax or invigorate your dinner partner or business associates.
Actually no, that would probably be silly.
But why is it that hotels have all settled on offering a certain selection of toiletries, but not others? Who did the market research to figure out that people like washing with a complimentary bar of soap (or just taking one for their personal collection), but not brushing their teeth with a tube of free toothpaste? Are people just more likely to forget to bring soap and shampoo than their toothbrush and toothpaste? And now that span and shampoo are the international standard, do people nowadays knowingly set out to travel without these items in their collection of personal toiletries?
It’s puzzling.
A number of the hotels I’ve stayed in have (particularly US, but then I’ve stayed in more US hotels than UK) say if you need anything else then ask. In one case I had left toothpaste and toothbrush behind and when asked they provided me with a tiny tube of toothpaste and a tiny toothbrush, both perfectly serviceable. I think this is more commonly a feature of business hotels though.
My theory is that the toothpaste market is a lot less varied than the soap, shampoo and lotion markets. There are simply fewer brands, so much less need for the brand owners to promote their products to travelling (and therefore moneyed) consumers.
You didn’t think they were there for the GUESTS’ benefit, did you?
Hmph. Nothing like a dose of realism to take the wind out of the sails of a perfectly good comedy rant.
Now I feel small. 🙂 No sense of humour that’s my problem.
Sadly I think Abi may be right…
I’ve asked for and received toothpaste and a toothbrush on a number of occasions in hotels both in Europe and the US, it’s probably the bathroom item I’m most likely to forget when traveling.
I can’t recall ever having received anything other than a main stream brand – certainly nothing exotic like some of the stuff that hotels rooms are stocked with by default.
However I’d buy “mint and mango” toothpaste in a second if I saw it on the shelves… maybe you should give up computers and go into the toothpaste business 🙂
I am delighted to be a spoilsport. :>