There’s good rubbish, and there’s bad rubbish. Van Helsing is good rubbish. Simple plot, simple dialogue, simple acting, but packed to the rafters with pure action. In a way it reminded me of Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle: there’s no traditional three-act structure, or even a natural progression from introduction, through exploration, to resolution. It’s just a two-hour sequence of five minute scenes, each with its own CGI-filled, action-fuelled set-piece. There’s never time for your attention to wander into things like character motivation, or even simple common sense. By the time you start wondering why he doesn’t just…oh look! Something shiny!