Tag Archives: snark

On being told to “have a ducky day”

I woke this morning, and I found a duck
Asleep beside me in the tousled bed.
I sat up, feeling something on my head,
And reached to touch it, shouting, “What on earth?”*
My toothpaste was all feathers, and my soap
Left slimy pond-weed trailing from my hands.
I got no toast – the quacking bread demands
Were just too much. I simply couldn’t cope.
My trip to work was very much a trip –
I stumbled over drakes and stepped on hens.
They shat on papers, shed on all my pens,
While ducklings drank my coffee, every sip.
And worse – it’s nine more days till they’re away:
The tenfold curse of “Have a ducky day!”

Originally posted on Making Light

Apple product announcements, all of them

Striding and striding along the red carpet
The publicist cannot hear the designer;
Things fall apart; the specification cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the news,
The bloggers speculate, and everywhere
The customs of the press conference are lost;
The spokesmen lack all conviction, while the insiders
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the iPod announcement is at hand.
The iPod announcement! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of 1984
Troubles my sight: somewhere in Los Altos
A device with touch screen and new proportions
Memory as vast and limitless as the sun,
Is showing onscreen, while all about it
Flash quotes of the breathless Apple publicists.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twelve months of hush-hush development
Were brought to market by a production schedule
And what smooth gadget, its moment come round at last,
Sloches towards the market to be born?

Originally posted on Making Light