New parenting…hmmm. Half the days I’m on top of the world. The other half, I feel like I’ve been run over by a steamroller.

Yesterday was a top of the world day. M kicked me out of the house in the afternoon. With 120 ml (1 1/2 feedings worth) of expressed milk in the fridge, we felt it was time to try B on the bottle. The standard condition for introducing a bottle is that “breastfeeding is well established”, to avoid nipple confusion. With B, breastfeeding has been established since Day 1.

So I went out shopping. We’re going to a wedding in 3 weeks or so, and I haven’t a thing to wear at this size (I’ve lost about 15 pounds since the birth, but there’s at least twice that to go). I didn’t want to spend too much, since I do not intend the clothing to fit for long. The additional complication, of course, is that whatever I wear has to be suitable for breastfeeding. So it either needs to be a 2-piece garment so the shirt can be raised, or it must button up the front.

Didn’t find anything. Some of it is that I don’t like my current size, so everything I tried on looked awful. But I went to the tanning salon, which gave me the sort of lift that only bright light can.

Came home to find B doing just fine. I knew M would have called if the Source of All Milk was needed at home, but it was good to see the baby sleepy and well-fed. When he woke up and nursed without any objection, I was even more delighted. Now if I can persuade M to do the late night feeding, I can sleep through the night sometime! Wow.

Today was a steamroller day. Not enough sleep last night, plus the exertions of shopping to recover from. When B didn’t settle again after food at 6am, I apparently got really grumpy (I have no memory of this – I was talking in my sleep). M took him into the guest room to fuss, and I got a few more hours’ rest.

Still felt shattered today. But the weather was so nice that we went out for a walk. There were errands to run – posting the Child Benefit claim form, registering B with the local doctor’s surgery, getting some food. In addition, we went by the two nurseries nearest the house, to scout them out for when I go back to work.

The first one, Mother Goose, is in a fairly small house right next to the surgery. There are 3 rooms, one for babies, one for toddlers, and one for pre-school age kids, plus a back garden for good days. We were by right at midday, when the half day kids are coming and going, so there was lots of tiny traffic (plus parents). The place felt…happy. All of the kids were bright and active, the carers were friendly and cheerful…we just liked it. In some ways, it reminded me of Louise’s, the place we used to take my younger brother and sister, though (unlike Louise), all the carers were sighted.

The other one, The Little Drummer, was larger but more…austere. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to the staff (though they were as attentive to B as I could wish). The kids were more solemn. The vibe wasn’t bad – it just wasn’t as warm and delightful as Mother Goose. I think our choice is made.

Then an added bonus – at the supermarket, we ran into a woman I wanted to look up. She came to the breastfeeding workshop in my antenatal class, and lives around the corner from us. Her son is 4 months old. Useful to know another new parent nearby (but amazing how much babies grow in 4 months!).

Tomorrow…who knows?